Why You Feel Stuck, Numb, or Anxious....

Introduction:

If you've ever wondered why you can’t just "calm down," or why you feel shut down in moments when you need to speak up, you're not alone. Complex PTSD (CPTSD) isn’t just a diagnosis—it’s a reflection of how your nervous system adapted to survive long-term or repeated trauma.

Polyvagal Theory offers a compassionate, science-backed map of the nervous system that helps us understand these responses—not as signs of brokenness, but as brilliant survival strategies.

Let's examine how CPTSD manifests in the body and how Polyvagal Theory aids in transitioning from survival to safety, connection, and healing.

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What Is CPTSD?

CPTSD, or Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, often arises from prolonged relational trauma—such as emotional neglect, abuse, or abandonment—especially during childhood or in environments where escape wasn’t possible.

In addition to symptoms of PTSD (like flashbacks or hypervigilance), CPTSD often includes:

Symptoms of CPTSD

• Chronic feelings of shame or worthlessness

• Emotional dysregulation

• Difficulty trusting others

• Feeling disconnected or numb

• Persistent inner criticism

• People-pleasing or fawning behaviors

One of my favourite podcasts to learn about what CPTSD is, symptoms, ways of coping and healing.

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Enter: Polyvagal Theory

Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, Polyvagal Theory helps us understand how our autonomic nervous system responds to cues of danger and safety

Rather than being purely “fight or flight,” our nervous system has three primary states:

1. 🌱 Ventral Vagal – Safety & Connection

   • You feel present, curious, connected.

   • This is where healing happens—where we can engage, relate, and reflect.

2. 🔥 Sympathetic – Fight or Flight

   • You may feel anxious, overwhelmed, angry, or panicky.

   • Your body is mobilized for danger—even if there isn’t an actual threat.

3. 🌊 Dorsal Vagal – Freeze or Shutdown

   • You feel numb, foggy, hopeless, disconnected.

   • Your system goes into “collapse” to survive overwhelming stress.

CPTSD can cause our nervous systems to get “stuck” in survival states—especially in dorsal vagal or sympathetic activation—long after the threat is gone. We might want connection, but feel terrified of it. We might crave rest, but feel guilty or frozen.

Video below explains the Polyvagal Theory Model

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How This Helps Us Heal

When we stop pathologizing our responses and start understanding them as adaptations, healing becomes possible.

Instead of asking,🧠 “What’s wrong with me?”We ask,💛 “What happened to me—and how did my body try to protect me?”

Polyvagal Theory shows us that healing CPTSD isn’t just cognitive. It’s relational and somatic.

We need to:

• Cultivate safety through co-regulation (safe relationships, therapy, community)

• Use bottom-up tools (like breathwork, movement, touch, grounding) to gently shift our nervous system

• Learn to recognize our state and respond with compassion

• Rebuild a sense of trust in the body, one small moment at a time

Breathwork is an accessible way to regulate the nervous system for felt safety

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Small Ways to Begin

If you live with CPTSD, your system might be constantly scanning for threat. These small practices can help you begin to reconnect with safety:

✨ Gently lengthen your exhale to activate your vagus nerve

✨ Find an anchor—like a weighted blanket, warm tea, or safe eye contact

✨ Try orienting: Slowly look around your space and name what feels safe

✨ Let your body move—walk, sway, or shake out stress energy

✨ Offer yourself warmth and permission to go slowly

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Closing Reflection:

Your nervous system is not broken. It’s wise. It shaped itself around the conditions it lived in. And now, slowly, it can learn to feel safe again.

You are not alone. Healing is not a straight line—but it is possible.And every small moment of safety you create is a radical act of reclaiming your life.

thank you for reading and being here !